I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just forgot I was standing up.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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