Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
