i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize