He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I think people are normalizing furries
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