You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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