he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
