Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
