there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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