opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
