come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
dude i'm inner monologue high
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
