all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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