god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i've created a new STD.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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