maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
