I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Damn victory sex feels great
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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