Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
