I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He better not be in your backpack
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I licked your asshole in confidence.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
