turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
