I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
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I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
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Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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