just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
