Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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