Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I think a kid would responsible me up
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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