Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
wow bdsm is so cute
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
