i need an iv and a liver transplant
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
