Princesses don't give blow jobs
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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