Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
