Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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