I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
