why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
