Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'd cum for enchiladas.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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