im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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