Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize