Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
im holly from the hills drunk
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
