yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
