she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
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True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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