the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
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