ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
