you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
