I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
