either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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