But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
So many bounce houses so little time
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
