Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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