absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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