I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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