Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize