He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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