i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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