I could have mohawked her pubes.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
