It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize