my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
