I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize