I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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