OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
