Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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