I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
