Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
