did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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