Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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