There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
